Funniest Reasons Dogs Had to Visit the Vet

What's the most ridiculous reason to take a dog to the vet? We have the answer.

Funniest Reasons Dogs Had to Visit the Vet

Taking your dog to the vet usually qualifies as a mundane errand. How could it possibly go wrong? Well, it can. No need to take our word for it. We turned to Reddit for the most cringe-worthy vet-visit stories, and the vets and vet techs of the internet did not disappoint.

From waiting-room poop fiascos to pet owners completely lacking in common sense, these tales of embarrassment will make you feel like the best dog parent on the planet.

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One Dog Was So Stubborn, the Vet Had to Come to Him

In the grand scheme of things, this one isn't that embarrassing. Vets have to deal with uncooperative patients all the time.

"For his annual check-up last year I couldn't get my Great Pyrenees out of the car. He wedged himself between the two middle-row bucket seats with his butt all the way back to the third row bench. The worst part was how smug he was about it. He *knew* I couldn't get him out as he sat there so pleased with himself. The vet laughed and told him how smart he was. Luckily, she was able to give him his vaccinations and a basic check-up in the car. This year we're taking my husband's vehicle!"

Imagine walking into the office and explaining to the front desk staff that your dog was stuck in the car, though. At least everyone had a good laugh.

Want to help keep your dog healthy and save money on essential care? Check out Lemonade pet health insurance.

Meet the Most Expensive Box of Crayons of All Time

Dog in trouble for eating something he wasn't supposed to

One Redditor's dog almost gave them a heart attack because of a spontaneous craft project.

"Thought my dog was pooping blood so I took him in. They had me walk him to get a stool sample. When i went to pick up what he left on their lawn I realized it was more than brown and red, it was also 6 other colors. He'd eaten a box of crayons."

That 64-pack was overpriced to begin with, but imagine shelling out the money for a vet visit only to find that your dog was an aspiring art student.

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Strangely, a Drunk Guy Is One of the Better Pet Owners on This List

Sometimes, overpriced vet visits are 100 percent the owner's fault. In this case, the human in question didn't even own a pet.

"Had a drunk guy turn up to our emergency hospital with an 'injured cat' - the injured cat was actually his shoe wrapped in a towel."

Points in his favor:

Saw an injured cat and took action
Showed up to an appropriate location for assistance
Was supposedly willing to foot the bill for a stray

Only mistake: Cat was actually a shoe.

At least that shoe is living its best life.

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We Can See Why Purple Poop Might Be Concerning

Cute golden retriever dog at home holding a blueberry on his snout. adorable obedient pet. Home, indoors and lifestyle

Honestly, we're not judging pet parents for overreacting to oddly colored No. 2s. That's a genuine red flag, but a heaping tablespoon of common sense goes a long way here. OP really didn't have to worry this much.

"Panicked over my dog's suddenly purple poop. Gooey, glowing and shiny. Spectacular, really. Then remembered he'd eaten a bowl of blueberries that a toddler left in an odd corner."

Before you freak out about bright-pink doggy doo, check to make sure they didn't chow down on leftover beet salad from the trash.

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Well, This Is Awkward

Vet visits don't get any more uncomfortable than this one.

"I adopted a 4 year old dog from the pound and he was neutered right before I took him home. I came home from work a couple days later to check on him and noticed a swelling near his groin and got alarmed thinking his incision was infected. Called the vet and they told me to bring him in. Get there, the swelling is gone. The vet had to gently explain he was just 'excited' to see me. Cue me wanting to sink through the floor in embarrassment."

If you've never owned a male dog before, this is an understandable mistake. We'd be looking for a new vet all the same. We're not sure who would be more embarrassed: the owner, or the vet who had to explain basic biology to a grown adult.

Want to help keep your dog healthy and save money on essential care? Check out Lemonade pet health insurance.

When Your Dog’s Flatulence Is So Powerful, the Vet Runs Away

Vets see plenty of gnarly stuff. Blood, guts, gore, you name it. They're right up there next to doctors in terms of having a strong stomach. This Redditor's dog put the vet's constitution to the test.

"My girl sneezed, which caused her to fart. That fart was so toxic the vet had to leave the room to dry heave. We were only there to have her yearly vaccinations!"

If a dog's fart was so potent that the vet couldn't take it, maybe they should skip the vaccines and check for lactose intolerance instead.

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Another Dog Decided the Vet’s Interior Decor Left Something to Be Desired

If you think your dog hates going to the vet, wait until you hear what this Redditor's dog pulled.

"My dog pooped on the wall after getting his temp taken. There was a turd slowly going down the wall when the vet came back."

Mom, you don't understand. It's not graffiti. It's art. I'm making a statement: I do not like the vet.

I want bacon and a walk. This is my silent, smelly protest.

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What a Colorful Introduction

Ginger cat with big beautiful eyes, playing with tinsel

When it comes to pet problems, good news sometimes comes in embarrassing, poo-covered packages.

"Took a newly found kitten who had been kinda sick to the vet. Cat exploded poop en route to vet. Opened the carrier in the exam room, and the vet tech just started lifting pieces of poop covered tinsel off of the kitten, and just sort of stared at us in confusion. I guess the kitten had been eating his toys. Covered in poop tinsel."

Merry Christmas, indeed.

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This Guy Is the Reason Veterinarians Send Home Very, Very Specific Instructions

Before you leave the vet's office, always make sure you've got the medication instructions sorted out. Unless you'd like an awkward phone conversation like this one, that is.

"Not a vet tech anymore but we had this one guy who brought his dog in for the usual stuff. The dog was loaded with fleas so we kept the dog for a few hours to give it one dose of capstar, a pill designed to help kill fleas, a bath and all that good stuff. The Dr had prescribed a couple more capstars to be sent home. Guy picks up his dog later and goes home.

Next day I get a phone call from the same guy. He's telling me he's having a hard time giving the dog the pill. He kept saying, 'It just keeps coming back out, which I thought was an odd way of saying the dog is spitting it out. I told him to try some cheese or wet dog food, whatever will get his dog to take it. He then gets a bit quiet on the phone. I thought it had to be put up his butt...' We both laughed."

Why would anyone think that a pill was meant to be taken like that?

Makes you wonder: How has this guy been taking Tylenol his entire life?

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Now This One’s Just Funny

Adorable golden retriever playing fetch at home

"Obligatory 'not a vet.' I had just had LASIK and was in the yard with one of my dogs. He was chewing on what I thought was a tennis ball. Next thing I know, the ball is gone. So I haul him in to the vet, they X-ray him and tell me it just looks like he ate some food. $120 later, I take him home, he’s no worse for the wear. A few days later, I’m in the yard and notice some tennis ball- sized pears from my neighbor’s tree on the ground. Duh."

Honestly, this Redditor is a model pet parent. Sure, explaining that your anxious trip to the vet was mistakenly inspired by produce is mildly embarrassing, but still. This dog lover was proactive about his dog's health, even when he was recovering from a medical procedure himself.

Awkward, but admirable.

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And This Pet Parent Gets Endless Brownie Points for Sheer Humility

It takes a strong person to admit they're wrong. It takes an even stronger person to admit they didn't know dogs had nipples.

"I’m not a vet. I’m an idiot. Our little dog had been playing in the yard and it looked like he had a few ticks on his belly. Take him to the vet to find out my dog has nipples."

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That Awkward Moment You Accidentally Body Shame Your Feline

One Redditor experienced the funniest, best-case scenario: Going to the vet worried that your cat might be seriously ill, but finding out that there's nothing wrong with her at all. She's just chonky.

"I took my cat in because I was concerned about these lumps on her belly, thought it might be cancer. Nah, she just fat, it was cellulite."

Poor kitty. Imagine being shoved into a carrier and dragged to the doctor's office only for them to publicly announce that you've been eating too much late-night wet food. How rude.

Want to help keep your dog healthy and save money on essential care? Check out Lemonade pet health insurance.

Our Public Education System Clearly Dropped the Ball on This One

Black dog with collar after neuter operation

Vets sometimes have to explain things that any responsible, adult pet owner should know.

"I'm a vet, but this story comes from my ex-wife, who is also a vet. Saw a new client that had a puppy. She talked through the usual recommendations. When she got to recommending the neuter, the owner, who was a man in his thirties, asked if that's when we remove the prostate. She said no, we remove the testicles. The owner pauses, has a confused look on his face and asks totally serious, 'What ... What are the testicles for?' She had to explain to a grown man what testicles are for."

Seriously, who failed this man? His parents? The public school system? Life? All of the above?

We just feel bad for the vet who had to explain sixth-grade science to a confused adult. Probably left the office with a completely new worldview.

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As It Turns Out, 'I’m Not Fat, I’m Fluffy' Isn’t a Joke

This vet visit turned out so much better than anticipated. Usually, it's the opposite. Owners think their pets are just fluffy when they're actually overweight.

"Not a vet, but I took my cat in for a check-up before she got spayed. I have to admit, she is spoilt a LOT, like I’ll feed her tuna from the can with a fork spoilt. I was worried that she was obese, she’s a small British short hair but is so chubby looking, and is always getting treats. The vet just looked me dead in the eye and said, 'She’s not fat, she’s just incredibly fluffy.'”

This time, the cat really just had fabulous hair. It's a win for all parties involved.

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And Finally, This Gem of a Concerned Cat Owner

Adorable cat lying near open book on knitted blanket

This pet owner was, presumably, an adult who had gotten far enough in life to be able to adopt a live animal, all while having no idea how that animal functions.

"I shadow at a vet clinic, but one time we had someone come in concerned because their cat was making a funny noise. We ended up having to explain to her that her cat was just purring."

Just wait until she gets a dog and finds out about barking.

Want to help keep your dog healthy and save money on essential care? Check out Lemonade pet health insurance.