Worst Pets to Keep, According to Your Horoscope

Aries babies would rather gouge out their eyes than hang with a tortoise.

Worst Pets to Keep, According to Your Horoscope

Pet preference is a personal choice. Since owning a pet will likely last for their entire lifetime, it's essential to think carefully before coming home with a spontaneously purchased chinchilla.

Your personality and taste in pets might be influenced by the time of year you're born, so let's take a look at what pets each zodiac sign should avoid.

Aries: Tortoises

If you're an Aries, you want excitement and enthusiasm. Aries people get bored easily, and a tortoise will amuse them for about 15 minutes, tops. After the novelty wears off, the reality of having a pet rock with a face sinks in. There is no excitement. You can't take your tortoise on a backpacking trip to Europe. You can't take your tortoise to the beach. You can try to take your tortoise on a walk, but it will take a very, very long time.

Once you have a tortoise, you have a tortoise until you die because those things live forever. So, steer clear, Aries. Pick a more lively pet, so you don't die of boredom waiting for your tortoise to wake up from hibernation.

Taurus: Snakes

Taurus folks strongly value affection in their relationships. It seems obvious, but a snake isn't the best choice if you're in the market for a pet that loves you back. Snakes aren't mean, but they're not snuggly either. The most affection you'll get from a snake is toleration.

With gentle, consistent handling, snakes learn to trust their keepers and won't see them as a threat, but that's about as close as you'll get to love. A dog, cat or even rat is a much better choice for the warm and fuzzy Taurus sign.

Gemini: Horses

Geminis are the intellectuals of the astrological calendar. Have you ever met a horse? They're big and beautiful, but they are not exactly masters of wit. Horses need to be gradually desensitized to everyday sounds and objects, like cars, barking dogs and even plastic bags.

They're afraid of their shadows because they're not bright enough to realize what they are. Instead, Geminis should pick a pot-bellied pig or a dog breed known for being a quick learner, like an Australian shepherd.

Cancer: Scorpions

Cancers value kindness and sensitivity, and the allure of a sinister-looking scorpion will not be appreciated by a Cancer. To them, what could possibly be cool about owning a giant bug with pinschers and a venomous stinger?

Even though most scorpions aren't aggressive unless they feel threatened or are hunting down prey, they don't have an affectionate bone in their body — of which they have plenty. Most of their body is covered in a bony exoskeleton, which is usually brown or black. They aren't mean, but they aren't kind either. Cancers should get a fluffy bunny or a velcro dog breed instead.

Leo: Cats

Leos value loyalty in relationships above all else. Some cats are extremely loyal, but others, not so much. Cats have been known to go live with the neighbors just because they were offered better wet food two doors down. For some cats, love only runs as deep as a can of tuna.

Leos are dog people through and through. Get a golden retriever. They'll love you so much that you might even want them to be a little less loyal.

Virgo: Fluffy Dog Breeds

Virgos are meticulously organized. As the designated neat freaks of the zodiac, anything that sheds is a turnoff. Longhaired dog and cat breeds are nightmares for Virgos. Even shorthaired breeds may be too chaotic, as Virgos aren't keen on having dog toys strewn across the living room floor either. And a trail of drool dripped from the water bowl all the way to the couch? No thanks.

A fish tank might be more up your alley. Aquariums can be beautifully designed, and even if the tank gets messy, the mess is confined to a small glass box, not your entire floor.

Libra: House Bunnies

Libras have strong perfectionistic tendencies. They like everything in their lives to be in balance, and that's pretty tough if you have a bunny running around the house. Bunnies form close bonds with their human caretakers. They're prone to becoming depressed if they don't get enough attention, so keeping them in a cramped cage all day is less than ideal. Letting bunnies roam free in the house is better for them, but harder on you.

Free-range rabbits live in the house like a dog would. They can be potty trained, but the entire house must be baby proofed. Depending on the rabbit in question, they might decide your base boards, walls and furniture look like convenient snacks. Libras, if you're looking for a small pet that won't wreck the house, try a hamster. They're not as interactive, but they're much less messy.

Scorpio: Goats

Scorpios prefer to have control of, well, everything. Because they tend to be distrustful control freaks, they value trustworthiness and consistency in their relationships. This applies to relationships with animals as well, and goats push every one of a Scorpio's buttons. Goats are demanding and impulsive. They're unpredictable. Maybe they'll eat the lawn, or maybe they'll climb on the barn roof and land on the hood of your new car, hooves first.

Once they've escaped the pasture, they'll get into the trash, the neighbor's garden and anywhere else that seems tasty. Few things don't seem tasty to goats, and their curiosity and mischief know no bounds. Scorpios would be better off keeping reptiles, fish or shorthaired cats. Much more predictable and much less messy.

Sagittarius: Lazy Dog Breeds

Impatience and impulsivity are two of Sagittarius' less glowing features, and they're totally incompatible with owning a couch potato of a pet. Sagittarius people can't deal with the slow-paced lifestyle of a basset hound or bulldog.

In the time these dogs take to make it from the couch to the door to go on a walk, a Sagittarius will have run out to pick up a more active dog breed. Since that's terribly unfair, we suggest picking a more active breed from the start. A husky is a great pick since their wit and intense energy will keep anyone on their toes.

Capricorn: Ferrets

Capricorns can easily be disillusioned by challenging circumstances, and they get frustrated easily. If you've ever met a ferret, easy-going is not a phrase that describes them in the slightest. Ferrets are bouncing bundles of unpredictability. They need daily exercise and plenty of mental enrichment to keep them from getting bored and destructive. All time spent outside the cage, however, must be closely supervised.

Ferrets have a naturally musky scent that's impossible to get rid of, no matter how much you bathe them. They come with quite a few more challenges in comparison to pets that people are more familiar with, like cats and dogs, so Capricorns are better off picking a pet that won't come with so many surprises.

Aquarius: Velcro Dog Breeds

The positive qualities of Aquarius signs are many, but they aren't perfect. They tend to be stubborn and rebellious, and they can easily detach and become distant if a relationship is cramping their style. For many dog breeds, that's a big problem. Poodle mixes, labrador retrievers, vizslas, Pomeranians and any other velcro dog breeds are more likely to develop separation anxiety if their pet parent starts spending more time away from the house.

Pets also notice if your behavior toward them changes, even if it's a subtle difference. Aquarius people are a better match for cats, especially independent breeds that don't need as much human attention.

Pisces: Guinea Pigs

If Pisces people have one negative trait, it's laziness. They're not huge fans of boring, tedious work, and guinea pigs require a lot of that. After all, unlike bunnies, guinea pigs are not very good at learning to use a litter box. Their bedding must be replaced even more frequently to keep their enclosure from stinking up the entire house, and dumping out tiny, urine-soaked clumps of paper mixed with poop isn't the easiest task. It's smelly, messy and time-consuming, and your typical Pisces simply won't want to do it.

They'll procrastinate, and their guinea pig will not appreciate it. Instead, pick a less messy pet. Maybe a single betta fish. Or a succulent. Or even a rock.

Note: This goes without saying, but there are bigger factors to consider than astrology when it comes to choosing the right pet. Research pet options thoroughly to make sure care and commitment levels match your lifestyle.